Indeed, stepping out briefly would be preferable to our current arrangement.
[ because as soon as jim is moving, so is spock. he falls into step next to jim, the picture of calm again, hands clasped behind him as they walk. it isn't until they're out in the carefully-tended gardens edging the venue that spock speaks, his voice low. ]
I apologize. I was unaware that V'Raht would make his presence so unavoidable. I erroneously assumed he would be intelligent enough to 'read the room,' as I have heard it described, and not realizing that he would make a point to do the opposite is my failing.
[Jim doesn't expect him to be hurt and it's not what he Wants to say, but until they're out somewhere private he doesn't feel like talking about it. An unease that doesn't entirely feel contained to him but that Jim doesn't fight either. Spock's fine. They're fine.
And the gardens are nice enough. Sigh.]
He wouldn't have gotten so haughty if I hadn't butted in, probably.
[Jim says. He lifts a hand to rub at the back of his neck.]
[ quiet, still low, and back to the calm warmth that spock holds for jim whenever they speak.
as for the rest of what jim says once they're alone, spock's brows briefly knit together before he turns toward the older man, his hand settling at his waist in a way at least a little proprietary. ]
His inability to honor the parameters set for him previously and subsequent inability to control his emotions and reactions are not something you are at fault for, Jim. To be blunt, it is not your problem that he could not handle rejection. [ a beat, and then: ] Even before the Montgomeries Scott were able to ensure the ability to physically inhabit the same space again, I was extremely clear with him that he was nothing more than a brief— [ what word to use? ] —Distraction.
[ from the palpable misery he'd been in knowing the person who shared his soul would be impossible to have. ]
I am aware that may reflect badly on me. I did not handle our separation well after we met in person.
[Oh, that's nice. These intimate touches that aren't sexual in nature have taken Jim a while to get used to. He doesn't jump this time for it at least. Getting used to just...casual affection. Someone who wants him for more than just a good lay.]
It doesn't. I was struggling, too. If I'd run into someone on station or...I could have easily done the same thing. We were in transit for most of the time though so I just.
[Jim shrugs a little. His expression carefully controlled to not give anything away. Spock knows better. But they're Out in Public so Jim's attempting to keep his dignity.]
You, too, were a near-constant in my thoughts. There were very few moments in which I was not thinking of you.
[ and usually because there was an emergency, or he'd finally managed to completely shut off during meditation. the latter never lasted long, however.
his voice is still quiet, as much a reassurance as jim's own words had been even as he takes a step closer, gently squeezing the older man's waist before seeking out one of his hands so as to hold it. this too, is chaste: he is seeking connection as a human would, the mutual comfort of touch. ]
I do not know the appropriate words to express how I feel other than to inform you that I am happy it is you here with me.
[ you, specifically, this particular jim kirk, this human man who has seen him and not found him lacking. who is aware of his failings and yet treats him this way.
his comment is, in essence, a lie. he knows the appropriate words. however, allowing himself that level of emotionality when things are so fresh between them seems rash, like jim might find him instead too much. too intense.
Guess I was right. Or you were. I forget who said it was a bad idea. But. I'm glad we didn't listen.
[Sure, it's meant a lot of heartache depression when Jim thought they'd never see each other again. But they have. They are. And now they can see each other at Will. Scientifically speaking, at least. The logistics are still what they are. They serve on different ships in different times.
So far they've managed to keep this a secret between their two ships, though Jim knows that can't last forever.]
Ahhh, I wouldn't worry about it. Trying to find the right words, I mean. Just enjoy this. I'm here. You're here. And uh. I think everyone present knows it considering you decked out your ex in front of the whole event.
[Jim gets it. He has no idea what to call this either when the words he'd guess at don't seem like Enough, somehow. It's alright if they don't have a label for whatever weird ass cross dimensional thing this is. They're happy. That's enough.
He squeezes Spock's hand gently, his smile brightening like the sun over the horizon as he rocks their joined hands back and forth a little. Just. Enjoying the moment.]
What do you wanna do now? Head back in and talk science with the rest of the crowd?
[ they still have their duties, and having a romance across timelines doesn't change the fact that spock views his duties in an extremely serious way. somehow it's easier being the same.
'opposites attract' is a colloquialism he's familiar with, and he finds it true in many ways. but their mutual devotion to starfleet and the work they do means they understand each other in that way. spock doesn't have to worry that he's missing every milestone or like jim will feel as though spock is abandoning him.
spock has spoken with t'pring, apologized for everything that happened. she's happy with her new partner—or, what seems to be the beginning of finding her appropriate match. he's made his peace with what happened between himself and christine in the aftermath, and she's happy with doctor korby.
things have worked out, he realizes all at once, and the thought along with jim's words makes him smile a little wider than normal, has him tilting his head slightly as he regards the man before him.
spock loves him. that's both terrifying and exhilarating. he inhales slowly, and huffs out what might almost be a laugh. ]
His behavior was deeply inappropriate. It was unfortunate that such a display was necessary, but I do not regret my response.
[ he takes a step closer than they already are, pressing a soft kiss to the older man's mouth. ]
I would like to spend my time with you. There is a scientist in attendance whose work you may find particularly interesting. I was attempting a 'surprise' in hopes you would enjoy it, but we were [ a beat ] intercepted before I was able to do so.
[Ohhhh look at Spock smile! Anyone would recognize that as a smile and as such it's positively sacrilegious to see it on Spock's face. Jim's chest feels full to bursting. He's got the flutters in his stomach like he's a kid all over again. Does he need to reevaluate how he feels about witnessing violence if Spock's the one dishing it out?
Is that what this is? Questions for later--not important. Jim needs to melt first for that laugh.]
Yeah well, fu--[Cut off from writing off the other Vulcan by Spock's softest of soft kisses. Why he gotta be so adorable right now??? It's criminal Jim has to go back out in Public with him rather than pinning the Vulcan over a desk or in his own damn bed and getting One of them fucked senseless.] Aww. That's sweet of you.
I'd love to meet them. Better late than never, right? Story of our lives?
[ for a moment if almost seems like spock would also like to forego the rest of the party to climb jim like a tree because he kisses him again, firmer and lingering much longer, but he does at length draw back to regard him before nodding. ]
We will find our equilibrium, ashal-veh. Let us go inside so that you may meet Doctor K'tinca, whose recent studies into the effects of thoughtfully applied classical music to the well being of crews who are deployed for long periods of time have had fascinating results.
[ we all know what classical means. damn, spock really did hand-pick a scientist for jim to talk to who shares an interest with him and whose work complements jim's wheelhouse of knowledge. ]
Hang on, hang on. Did. Did you just call me 'babe' effectively? [Jim's grin can't possibly get any wider, but his glee is off the charts now. Eyebrows up, bouncing on the balls of his feet excited by the term of endearment that just passed between them.] You did, didn't you!
[He had to be in the splash zone of Spock's love life for many years and one does not spend that much time in said zone (and kinda pining forlornly after a guy) for that long without picking up a few things. But he can't belabor the point for more than a couple seconds.
His shock and delight is growing to proportions that metaphors usually associate with kids and gift giving holidays but we both know Jimothy here didn't really get much of that in his childhood. Suffice it to say, things are coming up Jim in the last five minutes.]
Holy shit, really??? What kind of classical music? What species? Was it chosen by poll? We gotta go back in I have So many questions--
[ at that bit of perceptiveness, spock startles like a frightened deer, eyes slightly widened from their normal state. but jim is so delighted, so pleased about it, that despite his fluster all spock does is consider a moment before nodding. ]
While not a direct translation, that is an adequate comparison.
[ the mood whiplash is truly real in the chilis tonight, but seeing jim so happy naturally has spock happy in turn: he smiles a little more, certainly more than he would allow around anyone else, then shifts to place a hand at jim's back to guide him back inside. ]
Doctor K'tinca will be able to answer all of those questions far better than I, along with any others you may think of while she does so.
[ and so they head back inside. by the time they're around others spock feels much steadier than earlier, though he does keep his hand at jim's back long enough for v'raht to see the contact before spock returns to his usual stance, a petty little bit of insult to injury.
k'tinca turns as they approach, a tall caitian who beams upon seeing them. ]
Mister Spock, I hope this is the person you assured me would be so interested in my work that you 'wouldn't be able to get a word in edgewise, as goes the human idiom.'
[ she actually does a very good job of imitating his intonation when she does her impression; spock just arches an eyebrow slightly, apparently unbothered by her boistrous energy. ]
Indeed. Doctor K'Tinca, this is Jim Kirk, my partner. Jim, this is Doctor K'tinca, the foremost researcher in her field in the quadrant.
I'd say Spock has told me so much about you but to be honest until the last minute or so I had no idea what sort of 'surprise' he'd intended by inviting me here. Suffice it to say I am incredibly honored to make your acquaintance, doctor.
[He offers a polite bob of his head in greeting but it's clear as day that this human is giddy as can be to be having this conversation. Someone needs to get the sunscreen to be in the vicinity of his grin, goddamn.]
How long have you and Spock been acquainted? I might not be in the science track myself but it won't stop be from hanging on to Spock's every pet project in rapt interest.
[Sorry not sorry V'raht. Jim has effectively forgotten the hottie hot Vulcan exists.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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[ because as soon as jim is moving, so is spock. he falls into step next to jim, the picture of calm again, hands clasped behind him as they walk. it isn't until they're out in the carefully-tended gardens edging the venue that spock speaks, his voice low. ]
I apologize. I was unaware that V'Raht would make his presence so unavoidable. I erroneously assumed he would be intelligent enough to 'read the room,' as I have heard it described, and not realizing that he would make a point to do the opposite is my failing.
no subject
[Jim doesn't expect him to be hurt and it's not what he Wants to say, but until they're out somewhere private he doesn't feel like talking about it. An unease that doesn't entirely feel contained to him but that Jim doesn't fight either. Spock's fine. They're fine.
And the gardens are nice enough. Sigh.]
He wouldn't have gotten so haughty if I hadn't butted in, probably.
[Jim says. He lifts a hand to rub at the back of his neck.]
So. That's on me, too.
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[ quiet, still low, and back to the calm warmth that spock holds for jim whenever they speak.
as for the rest of what jim says once they're alone, spock's brows briefly knit together before he turns toward the older man, his hand settling at his waist in a way at least a little proprietary. ]
His inability to honor the parameters set for him previously and subsequent inability to control his emotions and reactions are not something you are at fault for, Jim. To be blunt, it is not your problem that he could not handle rejection. [ a beat, and then: ] Even before the Montgomeries Scott were able to ensure the ability to physically inhabit the same space again, I was extremely clear with him that he was nothing more than a brief— [ what word to use? ] —Distraction.
[ from the palpable misery he'd been in knowing the person who shared his soul would be impossible to have. ]
I am aware that may reflect badly on me. I did not handle our separation well after we met in person.
no subject
It doesn't. I was struggling, too. If I'd run into someone on station or...I could have easily done the same thing. We were in transit for most of the time though so I just.
[Jim shrugs a little. His expression carefully controlled to not give anything away. Spock knows better. But they're Out in Public so Jim's attempting to keep his dignity.]
I thought about you a Lot.
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[ and usually because there was an emergency, or he'd finally managed to completely shut off during meditation. the latter never lasted long, however.
his voice is still quiet, as much a reassurance as jim's own words had been even as he takes a step closer, gently squeezing the older man's waist before seeking out one of his hands so as to hold it. this too, is chaste: he is seeking connection as a human would, the mutual comfort of touch. ]
I do not know the appropriate words to express how I feel other than to inform you that I am happy it is you here with me.
[ you, specifically, this particular jim kirk, this human man who has seen him and not found him lacking. who is aware of his failings and yet treats him this way.
his comment is, in essence, a lie. he knows the appropriate words. however, allowing himself that level of emotionality when things are so fresh between them seems rash, like jim might find him instead too much. too intense.
it will hold, he hopes. ]
For a supposed genius Jim sure is an idiot
[Sure, it's meant a lot of
heartachedepression when Jim thought they'd never see each other again. But they have. They are. And now they can see each other at Will. Scientifically speaking, at least. The logistics are still what they are. They serve on different ships in different times.So far they've managed to keep this a secret between their two ships, though Jim knows that can't last forever.]
Ahhh, I wouldn't worry about it. Trying to find the right words, I mean. Just enjoy this. I'm here. You're here. And uh. I think everyone present knows it considering you decked out your ex in front of the whole event.
[Jim gets it. He has no idea what to call this either when the words he'd guess at don't seem like Enough, somehow. It's alright if they don't have a label for whatever weird ass cross dimensional thing this is. They're happy. That's enough.
He squeezes Spock's hand gently, his smile brightening like the sun over the horizon as he rocks their joined hands back and forth a little. Just. Enjoying the moment.]
What do you wanna do now? Head back in and talk science with the rest of the crowd?
bless his heart (affectionate)
'opposites attract' is a colloquialism he's familiar with, and he finds it true in many ways. but their mutual devotion to starfleet and the work they do means they understand each other in that way. spock doesn't have to worry that he's missing every milestone or like jim will feel as though spock is abandoning him.
spock has spoken with t'pring, apologized for everything that happened. she's happy with her new partner—or, what seems to be the beginning of finding her appropriate match. he's made his peace with what happened between himself and christine in the aftermath, and she's happy with doctor korby.
things have worked out, he realizes all at once, and the thought along with jim's words makes him smile a little wider than normal, has him tilting his head slightly as he regards the man before him.
spock loves him. that's both terrifying and exhilarating. he inhales slowly, and huffs out what might almost be a laugh. ]
His behavior was deeply inappropriate. It was unfortunate that such a display was necessary, but I do not regret my response.
[ he takes a step closer than they already are, pressing a soft kiss to the older man's mouth. ]
I would like to spend my time with you. There is a scientist in attendance whose work you may find particularly interesting. I was attempting a 'surprise' in hopes you would enjoy it, but we were [ a beat ] intercepted before I was able to do so.
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Is that what this is? Questions for later--not important. Jim needs to melt first for that laugh.]
Yeah well, fu--[Cut off from writing off the other Vulcan by Spock's softest of soft kisses. Why he gotta be so adorable right now??? It's criminal Jim has to go back out in Public with him rather than pinning the Vulcan over a desk or in his own damn bed and getting One of them fucked senseless.] Aww. That's sweet of you.
I'd love to meet them. Better late than never, right? Story of our lives?
no subject
We will find our equilibrium, ashal-veh. Let us go inside so that you may meet Doctor K'tinca, whose recent studies into the effects of thoughtfully applied classical music to the well being of crews who are deployed for long periods of time have had fascinating results.
[ we all know what classical means. damn, spock really did hand-pick a scientist for jim to talk to who shares an interest with him and whose work complements jim's wheelhouse of knowledge. ]
no subject
[He had to be in the splash zone of Spock's love life for many years and one does not spend that much time in said zone (and kinda pining forlornly after a guy) for that long without picking up a few things. But he can't belabor the point for more than a couple seconds.
His shock and delight is growing to proportions that metaphors usually associate with kids and gift giving holidays but we both know Jimothy here didn't really get much of that in his childhood. Suffice it to say, things are coming up Jim in the last five minutes.]
Holy shit, really??? What kind of classical music? What species? Was it chosen by poll? We gotta go back in I have So many questions--
no subject
While not a direct translation, that is an adequate comparison.
[ the mood whiplash is truly real in the chilis tonight, but seeing jim so happy naturally has spock happy in turn: he smiles a little more, certainly more than he would allow around anyone else, then shifts to place a hand at jim's back to guide him back inside. ]
Doctor K'tinca will be able to answer all of those questions far better than I, along with any others you may think of while she does so.
[ and so they head back inside. by the time they're around others spock feels much steadier than earlier, though he does keep his hand at jim's back long enough for v'raht to see the contact before spock returns to his usual stance, a petty little bit of insult to injury.
k'tinca turns as they approach, a tall caitian who beams upon seeing them. ]
Mister Spock, I hope this is the person you assured me would be so interested in my work that you 'wouldn't be able to get a word in edgewise, as goes the human idiom.'
[ she actually does a very good job of imitating his intonation when she does her impression; spock just arches an eyebrow slightly, apparently unbothered by her boistrous energy. ]
Indeed. Doctor K'Tinca, this is Jim Kirk, my partner. Jim, this is Doctor K'tinca, the foremost researcher in her field in the quadrant.
I forgot about herbo Caitian entirely oh man
[He offers a polite bob of his head in greeting but it's clear as day that this human is giddy as can be to be having this conversation. Someone needs to get the sunscreen to be in the vicinity of his grin, goddamn.]
How long have you and Spock been acquainted? I might not be in the science track myself but it won't stop be from hanging on to Spock's every pet project in rapt interest.
[Sorry not sorry V'raht. Jim has effectively forgotten the hottie hot Vulcan exists.]